Monday, August 24, 2009

BeansTalk Exclusive
MENu Dating Author
Serves Up Top Five First-Date Tips

Take a deep breath. It's all going to be fine -- especially after reading the following tips from author Tristan Coopersmith (MENu Dating). She presents BeansTalk readers with the top five sure-fire tips for a great first date (and you know what that means -- many more to come).

1. Select an activity that brings out the best version of yourself. To perform optimally, you need a great stage, so think of activities that you enjoy that are not overly romantic (i.e. picnic, carnival) and are distracting enough to remove any nervousness or pressure, but not so distracting that you have limited opportunity to interact (i.e. the movies, comedy club). If you are not choosing your destination and the guy picks something that is not to your liking, politely suggest an alternative.

2. Dress for the occasion. On a first date, clothing is not optional. Go for a feminine look that makes you feel fabulous and sexy, but don’t take it too far. Always remain classy, never trashy. Also, critical to the wardrobe process is dressing suitably to your destination. If you are going to a baseball game, don’t wear heels. If you are fine dining, skip the jeans and backless tank and instead opt for a flirty dress. And lastly, always, always, always wear sexy lingerie – regardless of whether you plan to reveal it or not, it will just make you feel sexy which will in turn, help you exude confidence.

3. Leave the house with the right attitude. Remember this is just a first date! It is not an interview for marriage. So just relax and have fun – be present in the moment, devoid of expectations (i.e. do not fantasize about what a great dad he would make, or ponder if he may be free to go to your cousin’s wedding in the fall, over the second course!) - and remember if at anytime you are not having fun, you can respectfully end the date.

4. Stay positive, sober’ish, and don’t make it all about you. The sexiest thing a woman can put on is a smile; It trumps any mini skirt, Miracle bra or pair of stilettos and is undeniably magnetic. On a first date, keep the conversation upbeat and light-hearted (no talk of exes or deep dark secrets) and remember to keep it balanced so you not only don’t appear self-absorbed but so that you get a chance to get to know your date too. And finally, don’t get wasted. It’s ok to get tipsy, but rest assure if you have two too many, you will quickly become a less good version of yourself.

5. Don’t overanalyze a first date. The best way to ruin a first date is to over-think it. Believe me, a guy is not concluding his evening with a nice cup of tea, journaling your date start-to-finish or verbal vomiting it up to his guyfriends the second he gets home trying to interpret why you said this and did that… and neither should you. Instead just enjoy it for what it was and at most, spend a few minutes replaying the date’s events and quietly acknowledge what worked for you and what didn’t. Return to your tip #3 and remind yourself that it is just a first date!