Jeans From the "Mom" Perspective
But, God Forbid, Not "Mom Jeans"

Our coltish AE can shimmy her way into skinny jeans and is likely to shop at a stop like Kultic.com which is bound to carry “her” fancy brand of jeans that fit her.

On the other hand, we, the ME want jeans that don’t roll under our belly and don’t look like mom jeans…oh, and don’t have to be hemmed. We are so over buying jeans and then hemming them – carpal tunnel city. Yuck.

This is not a joke http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTl6aJDlDiY . We mean, of course, it’s a now-viral SNL video. But believe us, we who live in a pseudo tony Westside suburb, mom jeans are still worn daily by some. And if we had a pair, we would look like the women mocked in the video (meaning, the belly, the butt, etc.).

In the early and mid-90s we were very happy when The Gap came out with their reverse-fit ankle jeans. Ah, the days when we were looking for a size 6 or 8. These days, those are also mom jeans, but believe it or not, there are women who’ll still buy a pair – we just sold one on Ebay.

Unlike BeansTalk’s AE, we cannot bring ourselves to buy a pricy pair of jeans. For starters, and to be perfectly frank, they never fit, are too low and make us look like we have balls (think of the opposite of camel toe).

Many jeans that fit (and we’re likely only to try on those at Ross, Marshall’s and TJ Maxx, not Nordstrom’s or Bloomingdales or Paige Jeans or wherever our AE buys jeans) are – and we’re totally serious here – Lee or Bill Blass or Gloria Vanderbilt or Levi’s Signature. Now, note that we said “fit,” and not “look right/good.”

So we’re constantly in a dilemma: jeans don’t fit, and if they fit on the waist, they’re too big around the waist and gap. If they fit, they’re too long, or if they fit they’re absolute Mom jeans.

We’ve had luck with Pine IV jeans, but they need to be hemmed. And are actually too pricey. We are of the delusional type who believe we cannot spend a lot of money on jeans because we are going to lose weight. Ha ha you say? Well, ha ha we say ourselves.

We get pretty excited as we get closer to what works for us. For awhile there, BeansTalk readers will know that we were all excited about discovering Bella Ellamento jeans. Unfortunately, Bella Dahl, the company that made the “stylish jeans for the more mature woman” no longer makes that line. And, we’re a little tired of them. We liked our Ralph Lauren Saturday Jeans (back when we were considerably thinner) – and we’re talking the collection that is no longer manufactured. We don’t like the new version of the Saturday Jean at all. The old one was nice, didn’t need hemming (the capris fit us like regular pants), were low, but not ridiculous and the backside was nice, too.

Several months ago, we found a pair of jeans at one of our discounters made by a company called “Department of Peace” – what was most attractive is that they had what we now consider the magical blend – 98% cotton and 2% spandex. One-percent so doesn’t cut it. Even though we loved the idea of the jean, they were only available in a size 4 and 6 which were too many sizes too small, so we just set our minds on finding more.

This week we finally found a pair that we could pull on, clearance at $9.99. They were a little big (we’re too embarrassed to say what size), so we deftly (not really) put in two darts at the waist in the back, above the pockets.

Apparently, people have found them at Hot Topic, Torrid, Dillards, TJ Maxx, Marshalls and Ross. They come in three lengths, 30”, 32”, and 34” – the 30” are perfect for our shortness.

What we find fascinating is that they're made by 80's icon Z. Cavaricci. We can clearly remember the super high-waisted acid-wash, pleated front denim. Ew. We actually have a pair of pretty much culottes in a dark wash by Z. Cavaricci as well as a pair of capris that would be great, except they stretch to much when you wear them awhile and the waist gets too big (when we are talking me and jeans, "too big" isn't often uttered).